Where to begin ...

Wow, that was not a fun start to my morning.  Got on the scale and saw 219.1.  I am only 5'4" tall.  That means I could lose 100 pounds and still not be underweight.

That is really eye-opening.  I know just by looking at myself that I am overweight and need to lose weight.  I get on the scale on a regular basis, that the number kept creeping up was not a surprise.  But then something happens and BAM!  It hits you right between the eyes, FAT, that is what I am.

It would probably make more sense to some people if I were to have some type of tragedy in my life that caused this, but there isn't.  I grew up with a regular family.  My parents love me.  Yes, my sisters and I fought (and still do ... hopefully we will grow out of that at some point) but who doesn't?

I will say that I have never had much self-esteem.  I have faked the self-esteem for years.  But it is always tied to something.  I have always felt fat, ugly or dull.  That is what has to change.  

I thought I was fat in the picture below ... I'm the one on the right in the yellow pants ... it was the 80's, please forgive the hair and the glasses :)  Looking back, the only fat that could probably be found would be on my earlobe.

I will say that at the time this picture was taken, my best friend was one of those girls who are naturally skin and bones.  Very petite, could probably wear kids clothes into college.  By comparison, I felt fat.  

Leap to now, I am fat.

Sorry for the sideways pictures.  I will fix for moving forward.  What you can't see under the shirt is the tummy.  I look pregnant.  Look at the jiggle on that arm.  Never noticed that before I took this picture.  What I did notice is that I am not fitting into any of my clothes anymore.  Not even the fat ones.

Something has got to change, and it has to start now.

First thing to go is my breakfast Whataburger habit.  When I go to work, I got into the habit of getting breakfast at Whataburger.  That starts off my day with a 700 calorie meal, not including the large coke that I get.  That is over half of my calories right there!  400 of those calories are from fat!  1320 grams of salt.  No wonder I have swollen fingers ... all that salt?

Yesterday was my first day coke free.  Skipping the breakfast, that wasn't hard because it wasn't part of yesterday's routine.  Skipping it today ... that will be difficult.  But I will do it.

Check in soon!